IA ARNONE - 18 - Born in Ewing, NJ lives in Allentown, NJ
With cases all throughout the country (and world), IA's parents separated when she was a young girl. Due to her parent's relationship dynamic and the harsh reality of certain situations in her adolescence allowed her to more self aware and protective of herself. Growing up, she split time between her parents. While she was closer with her mother, she recalled them both teaching her valuable lessons. Her mom would remind her to make the best of any circumstance and situation, and that neither good or bad situations are permanent and you must take advantage of the time. Her dad being more of a tough love kind of man, he taught IA that life was hard and unkind. He would tell her it was important to understand and accept that. As IA grew up she became more and more anxious in social situations. Yet, she never lost her awareness and ability to protect herself. But she crossed paths with someone that let her guard down despite of her knowledge on his abusive and controlling tendencies. She thought she could help to change him, but she found herself developing higher levels of anxiety. IA became afraid of displeasing everyone, because it seemed she was always displeasing him. Even after being separated, she found herself being so unsure of her actions and their effects. As time passed, she learned to ease her anxiety with breathing exercises. IA realized it was important for her mental health to stabilize her thoughts especially as it flowed over into her academics. She started to underestimate herself so much that she would disregard her own intelligence and abilities. She recalled that any time she tested for a subject and received her results she would surprise herself. Later in the interview, I asked IA how she defined confidence and her response was : "knowing that you love and value yourself no matter what people say to you, who's in your life, and what situation you're in how people treat you. ." As I started drafting, it was easy to see how IA's confidence had gradually evolved and grew over time. Her trials and triumphs were present throughout her story, and is one that is very relatable for so many people. When asked about her own impact and influence on others, IA mentioned how imperative it was to be able to focus on the things that one says to other people. Being observant and reading people's reactions and body language says a great deal about how what you are saying, compliment or otherwise, affects their own self-assurance. With every interview, after reflecting on their own experiences I ask them to reflect on the dialogue we engaged in. I asked the simple question : have you become more aware on how self-assurance is present in your everyday life and if your own view on the issue/topic is different moving forward? After ensuring her answer was fueled by kindness, she simply answered with a yes. IA included that she realized it was important for her to become more aware of others, as she is aware of herself.